Daily prompt: Baggage?


Today’s prompt asks

We all have complicated histories, When was the last time your past experiences informed a major decision you’ve made?

Baggage, that term gets used a lot when it comes to single parents moving on doesn’t it? it’s the one thing that people have a tendency to indirectly ask the moment they hear the word ‘parent’. I’ve run into a number of situations where I’ve had that happen and I don’t hear back from them again, Some people out there dislike the idea of having a partner with a child. Now, I apologize if I sound too blunt but, why? I mean yes, I devote my time to my little one but it doesn’t mean I’ll love my partner any less right? just a thought, please don’t hate :)

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20 responses »

  1. It’s amazing, especially with how they think I’m asking them to help me with raising my kid, I certainly wouldn’t as I’m responsible enough to do it myself. Isn’t it something eh?

  2. you know Andy – I like the way you worded it – (and how your other reader noted things) – and I have to share that it all comes down to finding the right match – which I believe we all have – I totally hate the word soul mate – but that is for another discussion – ha! but I know with my partner – on our very first date he whipped out a trifold wallet with 3 pictures of his daughter. and stared at me to see my reaction – and here’s the thing – I had not baggage with this area at all – and while there were a few things on my list that I totally did not want a guy to have – having children was not even a topic on my radar.

    I had no experience with this from any past boyfriends and well – years later I overheard someone saying they did not want to date anyone with kids because of this and that -(which was selfishness and they surface like looked at the situation not realizing the joy a kid brings to someone’s life)

    and well – it was in hindsight when I looked back to see that this area was fresh for me – and was another sign of how “well-matched” we were – still had to work through normal couple stuff – but at the very basic level just super compatible.

    and the funny thing is that the very things my hubby’s “ex” complained about him (;) ) are some of the very things I “wanted” in a guy. my point? different strokes for different folks!!! and so even though it takes time – hang in there because the right match will unfold and come along – and in the meantime just keeping growing and keeping yourself whole because the healthier and stronger you are the better “we” will be made when the right match does appear (and I am not sure why it seems to take too long, but believe me – I know it does – I do…)

    anyhow, when people see kids as baggage – many times it is from their own baggage in that area – but other times it is pure ignorance from assessing an area too soon – and I agree – their loss -

    • Hi! Thank you for sharing your experience, I was so nervous as I wrote the post worrying if I had offended anyone. Whew! :)

      Kudos on your husband showing his daughter’s photos to you right the first date! As a father my first and foremost will always be my daughter, beyond all ambitions and plans. There’s a connection that only she can give, even when she’s a rebellious pre-teen (lol) You’re right, The right partner will understand.

      God knows I’ve been in at least a couple of relationships that I walked away from and never even thought of looking back, One was upset about my not giving her attention over my daughter and one blew up at me for talking about her here and there. Boy, I sure pick em huh :-\

  3. Well, since you asked why some don;t want a man/ woman with child…. they don’t want to take care of another person’s child…. the child reminds them of your past love….

    • True, I’ve been told that before, I can totally understand and respect that concern but even if I’m assuring that I am taking care of my kid myself completely? mmm boy this topic is tricky to do carefully lol

  4. Pingback: “Baggage, meet Baggage” (Oh) | It's a blog

  5. Well, if they consider your princess baggage Andy then they miss out – plus they’ve saved you time by showing you how narrow-minded and short-sighted they are! Sadly it’s similar when it comes to traveling with children, some people become so pompous and self-righteous glaring at the children as if we’ve purposely brought them to ruin their holiday. Someone even pushed our daughter on this cruise, seriously, who’s acting the child I ask?

  6. Hey Andy – I guess I was still on the feed for the comments with this post – and well, just wanted to to chime in and say that I think sometimes the word “baggage” comes off as only negative. It sound so bad when put certain ways – but in my definition of baggage – well it is just the suitcase of stuff we carry around with us – and well all have different items – and sometimes a divorce or having children seem like “big baggage” because they are obvious – but the truth is that we all have an assortment – and sometimes the ones without kids have “more gunk and junk in the trunk” it just takes time to see. okay, just wanted to share that with such a great topic and great post…. :) ~y.

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