There comes a time in our life, when we have to think about the ones that really matter to us, and the ones that don’t. I know it sounds selfish, cold even but it’s the truth. The ones that will always matter to us are the ones that have always been by our side even if at one point we were too busy pursuing a relationship with someone besides them, that we never knew and yet even after this they still support you at no benefit to themselves. These people really are amazing and come only once in a lifetime so always hold them close to you, They will be there for you even in the worst moments and you’ll always be able to count on them. Then there are the ones who don’t matter, the ones that offer you everything but not until you give something in return. The ones that leave you first chance they see something better, but still snare you with temptation so you never actually leave. Yet, when you need them the most they are nowhere to be found. I know how this all sounds, but it’s the ugly truth and sometimes it sucks but at least your heart will break less in the long run.
Category Archives: Aspects in relationships
Teabags under pressure..
If you take a teabag and add it to lukewarm water, nothing happens. The contents of the tea bags are perfectly content as they are. Nothing happens, but if you apply hot water to the cup then the contents of the teabag react and it’s true color appears and nothing can place the contents back in again. It’s out in the open and therefore it has presented itself.
People are much the same. There’s no way to really tell how a person is until they show their true colors, some people are perfectly happy staying within their comfort zone. Then, when you add the pressure or take them out of their comfort zone you see what they really are like on the inside. Their true colors are shown and you see them for what they really are, either someone who is sincere and still loves you or someone who completely changes and you feel like you never really knew them. The sad part is having to find out this way, but at least it’s a little less painful in the long run because you find out sooner than later what they really are like.
Things we don’t say
Sometimes people choose silence over speaking their minds, out of fear that they might say something they could regret or they just aren’t ready to say what’s in their hearts and they need to take the time to think it over. I can completely respect that, really i can. But, if i may make an opinion of my own when i say that time has a toll on whether or not to finally say something, if you wait too long the words may lose their original intention. By then, it may already be too late especially if you are trying to tell someone something that you’ve held back because you don’t know if it will be accepted. Things happen in between that time that you wait and you may lose the chance altogether, so let me ask you. Are you really going to leave it to chance?
Being left alone / dumped
The most painful of all experiences, the feeling like as if you have hit the end of the road. All of a sudden, there’s nothing but silence after all the laughter and all the sweet moments. It becomes a very dark and very lonely cold place, the entire time you are alone it seems that nothing you say or do seems to make a difference. Something happened between you two and hard as you tried to right the wrong it just doesn’t change the situation for the better. At this point, you may as well give time a chance to decide what happens next. Collect your thoughts, then if the relationship is meant to be? the next chapter will be written, if not then it simply wasn’t meant to be.
Misunderstanding
One of the things that happen often in a relationship. When there’s a complete communication breakdown because couples aren’t listening to each other, arguments happen and conflicts arise. It breaks apart an otherwise strong relationship, there needs to be a chance for both to hear what the other wants to say, It can’t be a one way street or it just isn’t fair to the other.
Breathing space
I previously wrote a post about jealousy, again it’s just my opinion. I am no expert by any measure but i just wanted to share my thoughts, so yes i welcome opinions. In fact, i hope i’ll find some because that’s what life is all about. It’s about constantly learning and constantly changing, anyways we are going off topic here.
So, breathing room. It’s another one of those things i tend to forget even myself, it’s easy to lose yourself in the feeling of being wanted and appreciated by someone you love. Nobody wants to be left behind or forgotten half way into a relationship after all, so by nature we have a tendency to crave for more of what makes us feel good and feel important. But, like everything in life there’s a very fine limit to what we can have that’s good before it becomes too much, remember. Before we met our love we were all alone, there was the freedom to do anything we wanted and see whomever we wanted. It’s natural to want to keep that freedom, then when we are involved with someone we lose a part of that because we want to trust the one that loves us to give us the same, it’s a complicated subject but the bottom line is. Give lots of room, too much smothering and you will make someone really tired of you real fast. Go with the flow, take it as it comes and your relationship just might last longer, just a thought.
Frustration
This, is probably one of the most sensitive of all relationships. It’s easy to be frustrated with someone when things become too complicated, sometimes things don’t go the way you were hoping or all your effort to make something right goes unnoticed. Such as preparing something perfect for your loved one only to find that things had to change the last minute, i know how frustrating that is as i have been there before. I remember preparing something special one time for someone, a dinner out just her and i and it was supposed to be a surprise. But, it was ruined because of her family being overly protective of their daughter. It was all planned from beginning to end and it was difficult to get that reservation, i was frustrated of course but i didn’t blame her for it. The actions of her parents wasn’t her fault but because of my frustration the date was ruined, instead i could of handled it better by just being understanding and supporting her in the situation. She wasn’t happy about it either but nothing could be gained from being so upset, so i guess what i’m saying here is don’t get upset over something that didn’t go right. Instead try to make it right by doing the right thing, and whatever the case might be just might have a chance to turn around. It’s your choice, make it a right one.
Jealousy
Jealousy, I have to admit that it is one of the things I’m still working out of my system. It hasn’t been easy but when I give it some thought, I realize that it’s a feeling that only brings more grief in the end. It’s easy to think that being jealous will show someone that you are thinking of them. When in reality, all you’re doing is telling them that you can’t trust them to be faithful to you. This damages the very foundation in which relationships at any level are made, so if you love someone make sure that trust each other or be ready to lose each other too soon.
Absence
Absence, the feeling when you miss someone so much that it becomes hard to think about anything else, everything you do suddenly relates to the one you long to be with. A cup of coffee reminds you of an evening out at the nearest Starbucks or even a hot meal served remind you of a lunch date the day before. Then there are the endless texts that suddenly stopped and you are still looking at your blank phone anyways. It’s all because you long to be with someone who haven’t seen in a while, the hard part is it doesn’t matter how busy you try to keep yourself. At the end of it, you still won’t be able to stop thinking about him/her. It’s alright though, at least you’re showing that you have genuine feelings.
Don’t give up
Don’t push away someone who you aren’t ready to be without. I know sometimes it seems to be the right thing to do, just to try and get over that feeling of rejection. But, I also know how much it hurts to eventually come back and see how everything that was there is gone. Then you realize that no matter what you do, it will never be the same again. So, please talk about what you are feeling first, even if you don’t have the answer you want. At least you know you gave it your best and you can let time decide what happens next..
Communication..
Communication, it’s one of those things couples tend to forget to do and then they end up in a tough place in their relationship. If you don’t say how you feel then how can you expect someone to know? yes, people can probably guess how you feel but assumptions never help anyone. In fact, most of the time it just leads to arguments and really nasty breakups. the worst one, is when you want to say something but you are afraid of what response you’ll get so it builds up inside of you so much that you end up saying the wrong things. Then you can’t take it back anymore, so please always say what you feel and let things happen on their own. If you don’t get the response that you want, it’s alright. At least you received your answer and now you can move on.
It’s just easier to hear what we want to hear..
It’s simply the sad truth, we always prefer to make our own reality rather than face what is actually there, then in the process we fabricate scenarios thinking it’s easier to accept, but in reality we end up lying to ourselves and get hurt by the reality of it all always ending in just falling into a pit deeper than that we crawl out of, i guess i need to learn to shut my mind up and just simply hear things and accept them as they are.
