RSS

Category Archives: Diary

A Beautiful Movie & A Story With A Message

My little lady and I watched a movie this evening, It really touched both our hearts and it was very likely the most heart warming and touching movie I have seen thus far. Take a look at the link if you wish, It really is quite beautiful the wa it was directed and how the story goes. Enjoy!

Hachiko – A Dog’s Story

 
7 Comments

Posted by on May 27, 2012 in Diary, Moments of thought, Thoughts

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Trials and promises of a single father

My married life was complicated by several factors including a very angry mother in law, so my ex wife went through a lot of pressure being pregnant and playing mediator. In the midst of tension building up our daughter was born, she was too young to understand and went through a lot of confusion. I made a promise though at her baby crib after I held her to sleep, that I wouldn’t let this conflict hurt her.
It hasn’t been easy, my ex wife made several accusations that were all fabricated by her family and groups. But, I’ve stood my ground each time and in turn I’ve raised a very loving daughter. I won’t deny that it’s been difficult, I’ve had to go through a lot of trials but I’ve succeeded in them all. The key is to keep the children out of the conflict, this way they learn all of life’s difficult situations on their own.
-Yoshi1076
 
6 Comments

Posted by on November 25, 2011 in Dedication, Diary, Moments of thought

 

Tags: , , ,

Time to let go

Let go of your past and you let go of your pains, let go of all your regrets and you open the doorway to your future. Let go of your expectations and you will know patience, let go of the ones that have hurt you worst and you will find peace. Letting go doesn’t always have to be a hard decision, sometimes it’s the only right thing to do.

-Yoshi1076

 
13 Comments

Posted by on November 24, 2011 in Diary, Moments of thought

 

Tags: , , , ,

My only desire..to say one last goodbye..

 

One last goodbye..this is my only desire..I know our heavenly father called you home and with your unwavering faith you returned to him..I wish I had the chance to say one last goodbye..to tell you I found my purpose..I’ve found my calling..I wish I could once again listen to your flawless piano melodies..so I will honor your memory with playing my melodies..with words from my heart..the heart you strengthened through all the pain I’ve suffered..I miss you still and I shall carry on your wish..

 
 

Tags: , , , ,

Proving beyond doubt

To sacrifice your dreams for the one you love, that’s proving your feelings. To give your all and not needing a reason why though, that’s truly proving your love beyond doubt.

- Yoshi1076

 

 

 
6 Comments

Posted by on November 15, 2011 in Diary, Moments of thought

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

A song for you..

I will compose you a song..

There won’t be need for words..

I won’t need melodies..

The melody is your beautiful heart..

I won’t need words..

Our love speaks a million thoughts..

I won’t need time to compose..

Our love is says it all..

I won’t need a studio..

Anywhere is fine as long as i’m with you..

I won’t need to ask..

Do you know this song…

..It is the song of my love for you..

 
2 Comments

Posted by on November 9, 2011 in Dedication, Diary, Sweet moments, Thoughts

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

Hold on to who you are

 

Sometimes when things go from bad to worse, some of us lose our true selves and become someone entirely different. So long as we don’t forget to hold on to what makes us who we are, we will always make the right decisions and not go down to the same level as the ones who put us in this place to begin with.

 
4 Comments

Posted by on October 31, 2011 in Diary

 

Tags: , , ,

Forgiving

The hard part isn’t the forgiving, doing it knowing that they will hurt you again, That’s the hardest part.

 
8 Comments

Posted by on October 31, 2011 in Closing a chapter, Diary

 

Tags: , , , ,

Rethinking priorities

 

I woke up yesterday with a greeting from my baby girl when I opened my bedroom door, she is so used to knowing when I wake that she greeted me with a hug and a “Good morning daddy!” it’s such a good feeling to know that despite all the lies and sarcastic remarks people make, there’s still some people including my angel that can stay
real.

Just thinking about this though, has made me realize that I have to make some changes. I need to let go of people who aren’t worth my effort to keep, with their sarcasm and lies. Just so damn sick of it, you know?

I know this sounds incredibly selfish but I want to be able to finish every night on a good note, instead of one with disappointment or pretending I hadn’t seen something.

 
11 Comments

Posted by on September 26, 2011 in Closing a chapter, Diary

 

Tags: , , , , ,

When it’s time to stop chasing a dream

Sometimes the only thing you can do after chasing a dream for too long, is give up the chase and ask yourself is it really what you want still? if it’s the chase for someone’s heart and they’ve never noticed. Then it’s time to stop trying, because if you ever really mattered to someone they would never have missed the person who’s always been standing beside them.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on September 21, 2011 in Closing a chapter

 

Tags: , , ,

How well people play their act

The worst part about giving someone everything that you are, is that you think they will care about you enough to give you the same thoughts. But, then they show you that all along it was always about them and they already got everything they needed from you. At the realization of this, it often feels like you are just hanging off a cliff and all they are doing is walking away and smiling. Ironic isn’t it? how well some people play their act.

 
4 Comments

Posted by on August 29, 2011 in Closing a chapter, Diary

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

When all is said and heart listens

Never letting go..

When all the words have been said..all the feelings expressed..all the joy laughed..all the sadness shared..remember this moment because this is when you realize..that you finally found the one..the one person in your life who has shown you the deepest parts of you that you never though existed..the one who will always know how you feel long before you say anything..hold them close and don’t ever give up when things don’t work out..because they never did..

 
4 Comments

Posted by on August 25, 2011 in Diary

 

Tags: , , ,

The thing about pain

Pain isn’t just an emotion, it also teaches us the reasons why we feel the way we do about someone. It reminds us how heartless people can be, without the feeling of pain we would never realize that we can do better.

Ironically, the ones that inflict pain upon us, are often the ones we are trying to receive love from. Funny how that works isn’t it?

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 24, 2011 in Diary

 

Tags: , ,

Perfect was always on front of them

I’ll never understand, so many people I’ve met in my life always told me that I’m not good enough, that either I’m not financially stable enough or that I am simply not the perfect guy for them.

Really though, what is perfect? everyone has something that the other wishes they had, isn’t that what makes us all unique to one another? I would like to think
so!

Having said that, you know what I say to those who seek their idea of a. perfect love? I say that what they seek has always been right on front of them, someone perfectly unique in their own way.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 24, 2011 in Diary

 

Tags: , ,

Show how you feel or lose it all

If you want to be with someone you love show it..before they show you what you could of had and what you probably won’t ever have once the feeling is gone..

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 24, 2011 in Closing a chapter, Diary

 

Tags: , ,

Sometimes it’s almost like writing a letter

 

 

Taking the chance to see if she will return my feelings sometimes  feels so much like writing a letter and sending it off, i can’t proofread it once it’s sent, and i can’t edit any of it. What is said is said and what is done is done, it’s all about waiting at the end and hoping the feelings on the words don’t get lost in translation half way there. Then when she reads the letter about how we feel, it’s like waiting to see if she will write back and if what i read is what i am hoping for, what a feeling!

 
20 Comments

Posted by on August 23, 2011 in Diary

 

Tags: , , , , ,

Choose the right path

The trouble with listening, is we often choose to hear what we want. Rather than what we don’t want to hear, it’s a relief from the pain we are trying so hard to avoid. But, as long as a part of you knows that you have chosen a lie you will never be at peace. It will come right back somewhere down the road, so what will you choose? will you accept things the way they are or will you continue down a path that will only repeat itself? the choice is yours.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 23, 2011 in Closing a chapter, Diary

 

Tags: , , ,

Going nowhere fast

Have you ever watched the one you truly deeply love, start to drift away from you and you don’t know why? then found your mind racing a mile a minute with all the possibilities and wondered if you were right the entire time?

It’s almost like going out the door and walking down the road with no destination in mind, you keep thinking of all these possibilities and all these maybe’s and if’s. It’s not a good place to be either, because at the end of it all you will look back and notice that the one you were getting all worked up over? hasn’t moved at all and you are the one who has spent all this time getting nowhere all on your own. Was it worth it? i think not, better off talking about it and if it wasn’t meant to be? then so be it. It’s time to move on, if it is meant to be though? then remember that love is patient and understanding. No matter how bad things get, it can always be resolved simply by talking about it. 

 
2 Comments

Posted by on August 22, 2011 in Diary

 

Tags: , , ,

Everything falls into place on it’s own

A few minutes ago, I saw a couple outside who were touring Vancouver all the way from Spain. They were trying to figure out a way to get to the team store, they didn’t speak english well and so me being fluent in Spanish I directed them.

Upon entering the store we had a chat in Spanish about the building, they asked if they could look inside etc. All the while we are doing this a couple of girls from the store were confused about what I was saying, but I was polite to them inquiring about the tour pricing etc for the tourists and translating. I guess I’m not as much a monster that I was painted to be was I? within a few minutes we were off, the guests absolutely loved the building and took tons of pictures. They had a blast!

After the tour I brought them back to the store to let them shop some more, as I opened the door though Ronda was again ready to bolt away from me. I opened the door for her as she motioned towards it and simply greeted hello, I guess I’ll never win her trust as long as she believes what my backstabbing coworker says about me but. My conscience is clear and I’ve done nothing wrong, I’m grateful about god giving me the chance to show at least two of the girls at the store that I can be a decent guy.

I guess what I’m saying is, life can be cruel and incredibly unfair but if you have the patience? good things will come your way.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on August 22, 2011 in Diary

 

Tags: , ,

For some, it’s just their nature

We often meet someone who gives us the impression that they are interested, they give us that feeling of certainty making us think that we finally found the one.

Sadly, at the same time we forget that for some. It is in their nature to be the way they are, it soon after dawns on us that all the effort we put in was for nothing. Misunderstandings and false hope follows soon after and you wonder why you ever tried.

Save yourself the trouble of ending up in false hopes and painful disappointments, see how they are with others before you decide that they really feel that way about you first.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 22, 2011 in Closing a chapter, Diary

 

Tags: , ,

Story of hopes and dreams

Take ahold a cherished memory on one hand…then take your deepest most profound feelings on the other..hold them together..now breathe hope into what had become your dreams..release it into the air..someone will not only see it but someone will also find you and take you there..have faith and never lose hope..

This is a story of my hopes and dreams, through my entire life. I have had my heart shattered at every turn, I’ve been used and lied to. Because people take advantage of my trusting nature, it’s come to the point where I feel I needed to let go of the one good memory I ever actually had, to see if anyone would help me replace it with an incredible one. with faith in my heart I’ve found someone, she found my wandering thoughts and without her. I never would be where I am now, someone out there is waiting for you too if you just believe.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on August 21, 2011 in Diary

 

Tags: , ,

Lessons learned through it all

For every time I was hurt..

I was reminded what is real joy..

For every time someone spoke without a thought for how I feel..

I was reminded of how fragile the human heart is…

For every time someone used me for their own ends..

I was reminded how much I can influence others thoughts in a positive way..

For every time I was fooled into believing someone cared..

I was reminded how easily someone might come across as pretending to..

For every lie someone told me..

I was reminded about the ones around me who never have..

Life is a constant journey of learning through the worst moments, so that we learn the value of the better ones.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on August 21, 2011 in Diary

 

Tags: , , ,

Why hold it all in..

It’s hard sometimes when we choose the wrong words to say during a really bad moment,  it is completely unintentional. I can’t think of anyone who would want to ruin a perfectly conversation on purpose. So, when someone does that to you just how do you react? do you end the conversation then and there or do you continue and pretend like it was never said? personally, i would continue the conversation that was originally there. Then, when the time is right the accidental slip of the tongue can be revisited.

Sometimes, we tend to hold back so many thoughts and emotions when we are around people that we bury it as far down as we can. The problem is, the deeper you bury it the more chances it will come back up when you least expect it. So, why not just always be honest about what you are feeling? no buried emotions means no worries about what you might accidentally say later right? something to think about .

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 19, 2011 in Blunt opinions, Diary

 

Tags: , , ,

I have become free

Right words at the right times..right thoughts at the right moments..right feelings with the right time..I have become free..nothing holds me back now from the entangled roots of my own deep desires..i have become free of false hope..leave myself to however fate decides..

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 19, 2011 in Diary, Thoughts

 

Tags: , , , ,

Of curtesy and respect

People who can’t show you common curtesy deserve no effort or time wasted, whereas someone genuine at heart will never let you forget what it means to matter to them.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on August 17, 2011 in Diary

 

Tags: , ,

A letter to a past

My mistake was thinking that you were worth the pain and grief that you caused me, your mistake was you thought I was going to on long enough. I guess we were both wrong about each other, I’m just glad I realized it sooner.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 16, 2011 in Diary, Thoughts

 

Tags: , ,

Don’t rush a relationship

Don’t rush a relationship, if something is there. It will take a life of it’s own, you won’t even realize how much you’re in love until you can’t stop thinking about it, all it takes is patience and having faith in each other.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on August 16, 2011 in Diary

 

Tags: , ,

His love for her is his inspiration

He does not sing..

He does not perform..

He does not act..

He paints a world..

His feelings are his brush..

His thoughts are his paint..

His imagination is his canvas..

His love for her is his inspiration..

His love for her is his perfect world..

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 15, 2011 in Dedication, Diary, Sweet moments

 

Tags: , ,

Someone who sees you efforts

When your efforts aren’t recognized, it’s time to stop trying. Because someone real and kind, won’t only see you trying but will also cheer you on.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 15, 2011 in Diary, Moments of thought

 

Tags: , ,

His heart of hate and her gentle heart

A man’s heart is only as strong as that of the one he deeply loves, without her support that comes from within their bond. He makes decisions from his ego instead of his heart where patience and understanding reside. I know, because without her I probably would of made decisions i’d likely regret in the end.

 
4 Comments

Posted by on August 15, 2011 in Diary, Frustration, Thoughts

 

Tags: , , ,

Past belongs to time now

There’s no point in holding on to what’s truly lost sometimes, it’s like grasping at air. You know it’s there, but no matter how hard you try it can’t be held. After a while, you give up and just accept it as it is. The past, that is where it belongs now.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 15, 2011 in Diary, Thoughts

 

Tags: , ,

The sweetest things in life

I was chatting with a friend of mine about simple stuff, while at the same time i was also blogging on the side about things that are coming up tomorrow and how much stress it will be to me. Then as though my friend knew that i needed that positive vibe she gave me the best cheer up i could ever think of! It’s true what they say about how the sweetest things in life really are the most unexpected (“,)

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 14, 2011 in Dedication, Diary, Sweet moments

 

Tags: , , ,

Don’t forget your own goals

Ever felt like you’re always chasing after someone else’s dream? sometimes we do that, when we are so much in love with someone. We help them achieve their goals and we put ours on hold, when you feel so strongly about someone nothing else matters. Then after they have achieved their goals you are happy for them but what of your own? what will you do? this is when you have to ask yourself if you have decided to pursue your own dreams or will you be left behind? don’t ever forget to chase after your own goals too, life is too short to waste it just sitting and wondering.

 

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 14, 2011 in Diary, Moments of thought

 

Tags: , , ,

Blunt opinion on personal change

There are too many times when i wonder why i care so much, about people who just want me to entertain them and feed their need for attention and popularity. Too many times i’m always standing there politely saying hello and all they are doing is looking around for better, then when they find better they walk away leaving me to look like a fool talking to myself. I really need to stop wasting time around these people and take a page from them, i won’t use others for the sake of personal entertainment however. Otherwise i’d go down to their level, no. I will be the better person by simply ignoring them, why should i be someone’s fool when i could be everything to someone who actually appreciates me? i’m not bitter. I’m actually thankful for her showing me how worthless i am, before i realized that i needed to change my perspective on things.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 14, 2011 in Closing a chapter, Diary, Thoughts

 

Tags: , , ,

It’s the start of another week

Last week probably counted as likely the worst week I had in a long time. Someone I thought was a friend stabbed me in the back, then a girl I used to know took his side and his lies because she has known him longer. Later the day compounded by two more people told me to get lost when I just wanted to remind them that I’m here after I read that they were going through a bad day. I don’t know what I did to deserve that, but I didn’t let that change who I am.

I believe god created us to care about others no matter how badly others treat us, so that parents can pass on to their children the lessons in forgiveness and in understanding. The lessons of which I am blessed my daughter has now understood, sometimes even she reminds me of my own lessons that I teach her. How I tend to forget in my moments of frustration, still I hope for a better week to come..

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 14, 2011 in Closing a chapter, Diary

 

Tags: , , ,

When will people stop just to listen

I just dropped off my angel at home after a wonderful day of heart to heart talks which i’ll place on another post. I do miss her already, she’s always so good to me and a constant reminder of why i’m willing to put up with the things during the weekdays, just to make sure she is never has to go through that i do.

There really are times though, when i wonder if i’m alone on this. The weekends is when i receive my healing from a loving angel who hugs me and kisses me on the cheek always reminding me how good of a job i’m doing as a dad, yes my angel compliments me. But, then come weekdays and i am back to the same all over again. The week as always will start with going to work, getting the rumors spread all over the place about me by my coworker. I’ll then get shunned by employees from a store because of their believing him, further looked down by someone who once said hello to me but now thinks i’m public enemy #1. In addition to this, because my coworker has seniority in the building they’d prefer to receive first aid treatment from him instead of me. Though i am nice to everyone i sometimes wish i didn’t have to read between the lines, but i keep my smile over my loneliness and continue through the day not saying much. This way, at least i don’t have to validate or deny any of the rumors that are said about me, the week goes on like this every week that i long to be with my angel. Because at least she, will be good to me no matter what others think about me. But, then i often find myself wondering. Will people in my workplace ever stop listening to rumors, and just try to get to know the real me? one can only wonder why people never stop to take a look and listen to what someone has to say, instead of believing the word of someone who knows nothing about me at all? i only wish i knew.

 
8 Comments

Posted by on August 13, 2011 in Diary, Thoughts

 

Tags: , , , ,

Mean what you say

If someone matters to you, don’t just say you’ll be there just because it sounds good. Make the effort or everything you said before that simply won’t count for much.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 13, 2011 in Dedication, Diary

 

Tags: , ,

Thank you for being you

Even though we are miles from each other. I never once felt that way, you’re always there to remind me that I’m better than what others say about me. Not once have I ever had the chance to doubt that you’d be there to hear what was on my mind, even if it was something that might hurt your feelings. They say you should give and never expect anything in return, but I can’t help but be incredibly grateful for your just being you.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 13, 2011 in Dedication, Diary, Sweet moments

 

Tags: , , ,

When people put you down

When people remind you that you’re not good enough for them, they are reminding you how close you’re getting to someone who has been waiting for the chance to say how you’re perfect for them.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 13, 2011 in Diary, Moments of thought

 

Tags: , , ,

To you i’d rather be

One guy showers you with presents when he doesn’t make it to a date with you..

The other guy has never failed to be there for you when you needed someone, even if he didn’t always buy you everything you want.

One guy holds your hand and kisses you telling you he loves you but, he can’t answer the phone because he won’t take a risk at work.

The other guy feels that without you he doesn’t have much reason to do what he does, so he answers no matter what.

One guy tells you goodnight and that’s all you hear from him until the next day.

The other guy says talk to you later and he leaves his phone beside him, always hoping to talk to you again soon.

Everyone has their own opinions, I respect that. But, I’d rather be the other guy. I used to be the other guy..

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 13, 2011 in Closing a chapter, Diary

 

Tags: , ,

Let go before you burn

Letting go is probably one of life’s hardest decisions, you love someone so much that for a while you are willing to hold on. But, after a while it feels like you are holding onto a flame, every way that you try to hold on you are reminded that there’s nothing to hold on to and the reality burns, eventually you have to ask yourself why you are hurting yourself. Take a look at the scars and ask yourself if this is really worth holding on to after all, if you say yes then be ready to take on everything that comes with that decision more emotionally than mentally. If you say no, then it’s time you thought long and hard why you put yourself in that position in the first place. So as to not repeat the same mistake again, so as to not burn again.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 13, 2011 in Closing a chapter, Diary

 

Tags: , , ,

Though time passed us by

Time had passed us by and we had drifted apart, but our memories always brought us back to where we started. The memories of our time together and the dreams we shared, the words we spoke and the moments when I’d hear your sweet voice on the phone, then that’s when I realized. This love, will never end and I don’t want it ever to..

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 13, 2011 in Diary, Moments of thought

 

Tags: , ,

When we sacrificed everything..

We sacrifice friendship for the chance to try a relationship. Then in a relationship we try to keep it going so much that we begin sacrificing our own goals to help them meet theirs, it’s more about giving than it is taking because you love them. But, when they decided that you aren’t part of their life anymore. I wonder, was it all really worth it when there’s nothing left to salvage?

 
2 Comments

Posted by on August 13, 2011 in Diary, Thoughts

 

Tags: , ,

When it becomes too much

Sometimes it really becomes too much, when nobody sees what you are trying to really do. Like when you try to be good to someone and they walk away from you because they have a perception of you that they aren’t willing to let go, then you try to be there for a friend and are told to get lost. It can be get to that point where it becomes painfully obvious that nobody wants you, so what do you do at this point? do you go to a corner of your mind and pretend everything is alright? or do you wait patiently for someone to come along that won’t give up even when you say you are fine and you just had a long day?

Personally, when people remind me how little i mean to them. I don’t let it get me down, i just wait patiently for someone to care. I won’t go running around looking for sympathy either, because deep down i know there’s someone that understands me. Then before i know it, i get a message from a friend who’s never failed me and i then realize that there’s nothing i can’t do, no feeling i can’t overcome. Just comes to show, faith provides us with all we could ever need. We just have to be willing to be patient, no matter how hard it gets.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 13, 2011 in Dedication, Diary, Sweet moments, Thoughts

 

Tags: , , ,

Make the most of your love

Having someone you love isn’t just about showering gifts with each other or all the physical affection, it’s about building memories that last long after you are no longer together. The memories that will be different from any other that you ever had, do this and love will take on more meaning than you’ll ever know.

 
4 Comments

Posted by on August 12, 2011 in Diary, Thoughts

 

Tags: , , , ,

Grateful for faithful friends (“,)

In our pursuit of what we want, we don’t often enough think about what we should be grateful for. A great many things in life come to us only once in a lifetime, like great friends who are always there to support us when we least expect it because they care enough to read between the lines and never fail you. If it wasn’t for faithful friends we’d never reach our goals because they are the ones saying “Keep going” when all the while you are telling yourself “I am happy just being here”. Be good to your friends that never abandoned you, because they would never dream of leaving you to hang! i know i am! (“,)

 

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 12, 2011 in Dedication, Diary

 

Tags: , , ,

When we see the trap but we willingly fall into it still..

In some relationships, we fall into a trap despite all the warnings we see. It’s easy to think that you can give up everything that defines you just to gain the acceptance of the one you are in love with, it’s all good and fine and nothing will change your mind because you feel that as long as you are with someone you want. Everything will be just fine, but if it’s not always fine then you are just setting yourself up for a really painful ending, because you lose who you were all along and will be lost constantly trying to figure out what someone else wants. But not what you want, if someone loves you as you are. Then you would never need to change or give up anything.

 

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 12, 2011 in Blunt opinions, Diary

 

Tags: , , ,

When I became replaceable

No two people are ever the same, they might act the same way. They may even look familiar to someone you know but they’ll always be two entirely different people. So, every time someone replaces me. What are they replacing exactly? the person that I am or the person that I couldn’t be? I wish I knew instead of wondering when I became someone that is so easily tossed aside.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 12, 2011 in Diary

 

Tags: , ,

Wondering if you ever noticed

Please don’t think silence means I’m happy, I’m just waiting to see if I matter to you enough for you to notice that I’ve been standing here all along.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 12, 2011 in Closing a chapter, Diary

 

Tags: , ,

Week is over

It’s finally over, the train wreck of a week. It started off as a misunderstanding between me and a friend that might of ruined what could of been a good weekend, followed by a ton of miscommunication between people at the store thanks to the rat of a coworker, to my emotions stomped all over by someone I thought I could trust my feelings with. I don’t know how I would of made it through without Minnie being there for me, it’s not fair to her though and I think sometimes I try way too hard when I care too much about people who won’t spare a thought for me.So, should I take a page from those people and stop caring so much? I don’t know ..

 
2 Comments

Posted by on August 12, 2011 in Diary, Thoughts

 

Tags: ,

What we can’t bring back

We can’t bring back a past that’s already over. Time has already decided that you had your chance, but we can at least make the best of what we got. Even if it means we don’t have the love of the one we desire anymore, we can at least salvage what’s left and if it’s meant to be. Then maybe something even better can happen, if not then it simply wasn’t meant to be was it?

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 12, 2011 in Diary, Moments of thought

 

Tags: , ,

When will i stop picking up the pieces


 

Why do we try again and again, why do we constantly let ourselves be broken in the attempt to be accepted and to be part of someone’s life. Only to fill our hearts with pain and disappointment when they don’t return those feelings, then promise ourselves never again. Only to break that promise and think the next one’s the one?  time and again we think we can really give our everything to someone who won’t think that our devotion and love is something they can toss into the air and forget about.

I just wonder, at what point will i start feeling numb from all this pain. If not pain, then at what point will i stop having to pick up the pieces and burn for every painful thought within those pieces of my shattered heart?

 

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 11, 2011 in Closing a chapter, Diary

 

Tags: , , , ,

I was in a dark place..until you came..

 

I had just left a place where i thought i was at peace, when  in my travels i entered a dark place. A place where there was not so much as a streak of light, every echo of laughter was a reminder of how far i had drifted from someone who i thought i’d never leave from. Somehow, you knew where i was. Maybe you heard me beat myself up over failing to meet someone’s expectations, or maybe you felt the pain within me i don’t know. But, you didn’t just keep walking. Instead you stood by my side and listened to what was on my mind and never gave up where most would, i don’t remember why i told you all these things but i remember all you said was “Hello, are you alright”. Somehow i felt at peace around you and the more i felt this the more the more beams of lights shone into this once dark place, the more you tried to understand me the more voices around us had come. In time i saw people from all walks of life pass by us, i asked you why you would care for a man who’s been given up for. A man broken by false hopes, you said that all i needed was to believe in myself and that i’d get through this. In time, the place flooded with voices of laughter and the brightness of the sun. i then realized that i wasn’t really ever alone, i just blocked off everyone around me because i was afraid to trust again. I don’t know how you always manage to pull me away from the most painful parts of my life, but i can tell you this. I can tell you that you are my hope, my strength and the reason i am where i am today and i’ll always be grateful for you no matter how bad things ever get..

 

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 11, 2011 in Dedication, Diary

 

Tags: , , , ,

This isn’t a wish list..

Someone who is humble and happy enough with what she has..

Someone who isn’t seeking to win a popularity contest..

Someone who is always there when i least expect it..

Someone who doesn’t forget me because there’s better..

Someone who calls the minute she worries something is wrong..

Someone who gives me a surprise here and there to remind me she’s there..

Someone who accepts me just as i am..

Someone who doesn’t give up just because things get complicated..

Someone who sacrifices hours of sleep to chat with me..

Someone who says hello when she wakes and goodnight when she leaves..

Someone who checks on me every time something happens..

Is this a wish list? no, it’s not. There is someone who cares when someone else doesn’t, i am so blessed! thank you!

 
2 Comments

Posted by on August 11, 2011 in Diary, Moments of thought

 

Tags: , , , ,

Truth hurts less later

Sometimes there are those moments when we ask ourselves why we find ourselves hurting time and again, then it follows with why did we not see it coming. How did we miss all the signs and how we should of known better, the truth is. The signs were there all along and the words were all said, we just tend to ignore them because we prefer to hear what we want over what we don’t. The truth sucks, but it hurts so much less in the long run.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 11, 2011 in Closing a chapter, Diary

 

Tags: , , ,

All I want

Some people want the attention of a room full of people, some just want compliments from a crowd. Some seek the attention of the world, but all I want is to be seen by one. To me, she’s more than the world can give me.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 11, 2011 in Diary, Moments of thought

 

Tags: , ,

When you matter so little

When people care more about what they want than what you feel. They are already telling you how little you matter, why spend so much time trying to change their minds when you could be with someone that has never given up on you? it’s where I’d prefer to be.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 11, 2011 in Closing a chapter, Diary

 

Tags: , ,

Heartbreak isn’t where it ends

It’s a strange thing to say but the ones that hurt us the worst, are often the ones that spark that creative side in a writer’s mind. The pain they make us feel give us the drive to write about what we feel, the words they say hurt us but at the same breathe life to the feelings we describe. The memories they give us let’s us tell a story that we then share, life is about what you do with the feelings you have and what you do with the time given, it doesn’t end at heartbreak..

 
4 Comments

Posted by on August 11, 2011 in Closing a chapter, Diary

 

Tags: , , ,

It’s easy to fall in love

If it’s so easy to fall in love with someone, it’s even easier to believe every word that’s said when in love. There’s nothing that’s impossible anymore, but when someone decides one day you aren’t part of their life anymore. Why is it not as easy to fall out of love?

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 11, 2011 in Diary, Thoughts

 

Tags: , , ,

When you know where you really stand..

Don’t ask for more than you are given, don’t expect more from anyone but yourself. Constantly raise the bar, So you will always remember that while some people may say you aren’t good enough for them, there’s always going to be that one person who you’ll always be perfect to.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 11, 2011 in Diary, Thoughts

 

Tags: , , , ,

Those three words..

If you are lucky enough to say the three words and hear them back, just remember that someone has just opened their heart enough to let you in. If you ever want to prove your love, do so not with just material gifts but show how much you are willing to emotionally invest into the relationship. What is that? the whole emotion thing? it means share your feelings no matter good or bad, if there’s no communication between you then how can the relationship flourish? real love holds no secrets, deeper love means trusting one another that nothing will ever tear it apart..

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 11, 2011 in Dedication, Diary

 

Tags: , , , ,

The nature of people

You can’t change the true nature of people, nothing will change them. Not even themselves when they feel good about what they do, all you can decide is if you’ll accept them as they are or move on, just remember that real love is accepting and never judging.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 10, 2011 in Diary, Thoughts

 

Tags: , , ,

It started a loving heart..

It only takes one hopeful heart to find someone who loves you..then it takes a loving heart to keep the love going..a faithful heart to give all the best..a strong heart to go through the worst together..when it’s not meant to be though..a broken heart..to realize how easily it can all fall apart..give a relationship your everything..before wish you knew how easily you can lose it all..

 

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 10, 2011 in Diary, Thoughts

 

Tags: , , ,

Love you as you are

Someone who loves you as you are will never give you a single reason to doubt, someone who loves you for the person they want you to be will give you every reason to doubt. They never loved you if they felt the need to change you.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 10, 2011 in Diary, Thoughts

 

Tags: , , ,

Can you?

Can you love someone unconditionally? when those feelings aren’t returned? would you really feel comfortable with the thought that this is someone who might not give you the same in return? just a passing thought.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 10, 2011 in Diary, Thoughts

 

Tags: , ,

Thoughts of life and being a father

What the hell’s going on with this world? economy is falling apart left right and centre, riots in a country that you would least expect it at. Wars over resources? is this really the world I brought my daughter to? is this really the true picture of the world? there’s not a day where I wake or sleep to now wondering if she’ll make friends with the wrong people or give into peer pressure. I was there the majority of my life and it wasn’t exactly easy. There were a lot if struggles that I thought I’d never make through the next day on, sometimes I have to wonder. Am I being selfish to be seeking companionship in a world so hurt? when I should be spending more time raising and guiding my daughter in the right direction? I know it’s off topic, but still. Sometimes i do wonder..

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 10, 2011 in Diary, Random thoughts

 

Tags: , , ,

Wondering if you are doing the same..

Every time I look out that window I wonder if you’re also looking out yours. Wondering if you know that you have not once left my thoughts, though you might not think of me the same way anymore. I know that those moments we had are very much real and at one time existed between us. At one point, it was all that ever mattered to me and it was all I ever wanted. Then at one point, we lost it along with everything else. Some forget these, I prefer to remember what mattered to me.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 10, 2011 in Diary, Thoughts

 

Tags: , ,

Don’t rush for answers

When questions can’t be answered in a relationship, instead of rushing head first and making assumptions. Consider talking about it with your partner, anything can be solved without resorting to a bad situation after all..

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 10, 2011 in Diary, Thoughts

 

Tags: , ,

When life is really unfair

There’s always that moment when you feel helpless to be there for the one you deeply love, it’s not just because you promised you’d always be there either. But, the fact that this is someone who means so much to you and here you are hoping they’ll believe your love to be genuine, all the while you can’t prove it when you’re most needed. Sometimes, life really is insanely unfair..

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 10, 2011 in Diary, Frustrating, Thoughts

 

Tags: , ,

Even if you say goodbye..

You can say goodbye, ignore everything that was ever said and look the other way. But, if you should turn around. What you will see is i’m still here waiting, it won’t matter if you will accept what i have to offer you. I’d rather be just a friend or someone you just know, than to be someone you forgotten somewhere down the road. I meant when it when i said. That i’d be there for you no matter what happens between us or how bad things got, it’s not a promise either. It’s the love that i have always had for you..

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 9, 2011 in Dedication, Diary, Thoughts

 

Tags: , ,

Without you i’d be lost..

 

When i felt doubt you’ve shown me reason..When i wandered in the dark you have been my beacon of light..When i stumbled you were always there to show me the right way..When my heart broke you have mended it with your warmth..When i needed someone to talk to you never judged..When i needed strength you have shown me that i always had it..When you asked me where you are in my heart i asked you when did you ever leave..i’d be nothing without you..stumbling away tripping over my own feet..

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 9, 2011 in Dedication, Diary

 

Tags: , , , , ,

Think before you act

Being on the sidelines watching what might of been you isn’t the hard part. It’s knowing that you had the choice but you made the wrong one that’s hard to forgive yourself for, always think with your heart before you make that decision you’ll regret for a lifetime..

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 9, 2011 in Diary

 

Tags: , ,

A love that transcends time

Though they parted ways, the memories of what was remained even if unspoken. Their love transcended through time, long after words have been forgotten..

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 9, 2011 in Diary, Moments of thought

 

Tags: , ,

When you miss the chance to be there..

The worst feeling about not being there for someone who needs you, is the feeling of your heart sinking when you realize you could of been there. For the one you deeply care for, to lose that chance to prove you really would be there like you promised you would is a really stomach turning feeling..

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 9, 2011 in Diary, Thoughts

 

Tags: , , ,

What remains..

Though time has healed my wounds, love has remained. From love, i remember hope and from hope i recall the memories of the times we spent together. Though my heart bleeds once again when i think of you, deep down in my soul i know you never really left from my mind. Love will always remain no matter how far we drifted, when my love is as real as you have felt.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 9, 2011 in Closing a chapter, Diary

 

Tags: , , , ,

The story is already being written..

Have you ever stood in the middle of a busy square and just stared at the sea of people..looked at the world around you and slow down your mind..just enough to see everyone’s faces and wondered what’s on their minds? everyone has a story to tell..everyone is rushing somewhere..some casually going about their day..some anxious faces behind the nice suits..a child joyfully fiddling with his little backpack too busy to hold his mother’s hand..the child’s mother so anxiously trying to take him somewhere..that she misses a passing cab..so you see..life is truly beautiful..a story is told before your eyes even when you least expect it..you just need to slow down..and simply look..

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 9, 2011 in Diary, Thoughts

 

Tags: , , , ,

If..

If time decided it was time to forget. Would you really forget what we had?

If life decided it was time to move on. Would you move on from the love that we shared?

If you saw a chance that would offer you better, Would you take the leap of faith that it might really be?

If you ever ask me to decide, my only answer is and always will be, No. I’d rather stand by your side being there for you even if you don’t remember everything, i will hold enough memories for us both.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 8, 2011 in Dedication, Diary

 

Tags: , , , ,

Lower my expectations, exceed others

The nature of people never ceases to surprise me, there always seems to be that one moment when they show you a side that’s sweet and down to earth. So you take that side of them into your heart hoping that’s what they are really like and how they will remain. But, once the moment is over it’s not long before you see their true colors and see an entirely different person. The kind you’ve been avoiding all your life, that’s not the part that hurts slightly though. It’s the disappointment that doesn’t wear off and never leaves. I think I will lower my expectations of others and raise my own. At least this way, I know I won’t be consistently disappointed by people who constantly let me down.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 8, 2011 in Diary, Self improvement

 

Tags: , , ,

Ask not..

Ask not if you can make it. Instead ask why you haven’t yet started,

Ask not if you are strong enough to go on, instead ask yourself what could possibly stop you.

Ask not what’s ahead, instead ask yourself why not go take a look.

Ask not if you’re sure about this, instead ask yourself why not take the first step. Life is about moving forward and learning as you go.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on August 8, 2011 in Diary, Encouragement

 

Tags: , , ,

Once a lifetime

Sometimes once in a lifetime there’s going to be that one person who will bring out the best in you. This is someone who will show you not just what you can do, but what you never thought you could. You will never again doubt yourself because you will never get the chance, life itself will seem brand new to you every day. Hold this person close or you may never get the chance again, I know because I have found somebody who makes me feel I always come on top :)

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 8, 2011 in Dedication, Diary, Thoughts

 

Tags: , , ,