Category Archives: Closing a chapter
One last goodbye..this is my only desire..I know our heavenly father called you home and with your unwavering faith you returned to him..I wish I had the chance to say one last goodbye..to tell you I found my purpose..I’ve found my calling..I wish I could once again listen to your flawless piano melodies..so I will honor your memory with playing my melodies..with words from my heart..the heart you strengthened through all the pain I’ve suffered..I miss you still and I shall carry on your wish..
I woke up yesterday with a greeting from my baby girl when I opened my bedroom door, she is so used to knowing when I wake that she greeted me with a hug and a “Good morning daddy!” it’s such a good feeling to know that despite all the lies and sarcastic remarks people make, there’s still some people including my angel that can stay
Just thinking about this though, has made me realize that I have to make some changes. I need to let go of people who aren’t worth my effort to keep, with their sarcasm and lies. Just so damn sick of it, you know?
I know this sounds incredibly selfish but I want to be able to finish every night on a good note, instead of one with disappointment or pretending I hadn’t seen something.
Sometimes the only thing you can do after chasing a dream for too long, is give up the chase and ask yourself is it really what you want still? if it’s the chase for someone’s heart and they’ve never noticed. Then it’s time to stop trying, because if you ever really mattered to someone they would never have missed the person who’s always been standing beside them.
The worst part about giving someone everything that you are, is that you think they will care about you enough to give you the same thoughts. But, then they show you that all along it was always about them and they already got everything they needed from you. At the realization of this, it often feels like you are just hanging off a cliff and all they are doing is walking away and smiling. Ironic isn’t it? how well some people play their act.
If you want to be with someone you love show it..before they show you what you could of had and what you probably won’t ever have once the feeling is gone..
The trouble with listening, is we often choose to hear what we want. Rather than what we don’t want to hear, it’s a relief from the pain we are trying so hard to avoid. But, as long as a part of you knows that you have chosen a lie you will never be at peace. It will come right back somewhere down the road, so what will you choose? will you accept things the way they are or will you continue down a path that will only repeat itself? the choice is yours.
We often meet someone who gives us the impression that they are interested, they give us that feeling of certainty making us think that we finally found the one.
Sadly, at the same time we forget that for some. It is in their nature to be the way they are, it soon after dawns on us that all the effort we put in was for nothing. Misunderstandings and false hope follows soon after and you wonder why you ever tried.
Save yourself the trouble of ending up in false hopes and painful disappointments, see how they are with others before you decide that they really feel that way about you first.
There are too many times when i wonder why i care so much, about people who just want me to entertain them and feed their need for attention and popularity. Too many times i’m always standing there politely saying hello and all they are doing is looking around for better, then when they find better they walk away leaving me to look like a fool talking to myself. I really need to stop wasting time around these people and take a page from them, i won’t use others for the sake of personal entertainment however. Otherwise i’d go down to their level, no. I will be the better person by simply ignoring them, why should i be someone’s fool when i could be everything to someone who actually appreciates me? i’m not bitter. I’m actually thankful for her showing me how worthless i am, before i realized that i needed to change my perspective on things.
Last week probably counted as likely the worst week I had in a long time. Someone I thought was a friend stabbed me in the back, then a girl I used to know took his side and his lies because she has known him longer. Later the day compounded by two more people told me to get lost when I just wanted to remind them that I’m here after I read that they were going through a bad day. I don’t know what I did to deserve that, but I didn’t let that change who I am.
I believe god created us to care about others no matter how badly others treat us, so that parents can pass on to their children the lessons in forgiveness and in understanding. The lessons of which I am blessed my daughter has now understood, sometimes even she reminds me of my own lessons that I teach her. How I tend to forget in my moments of frustration, still I hope for a better week to come..
One guy showers you with presents when he doesn’t make it to a date with you..
The other guy has never failed to be there for you when you needed someone, even if he didn’t always buy you everything you want.
One guy holds your hand and kisses you telling you he loves you but, he can’t answer the phone because he won’t take a risk at work.
The other guy feels that without you he doesn’t have much reason to do what he does, so he answers no matter what.
One guy tells you goodnight and that’s all you hear from him until the next day.
The other guy says talk to you later and he leaves his phone beside him, always hoping to talk to you again soon.
Everyone has their own opinions, I respect that. But, I’d rather be the other guy. I used to be the other guy..
Letting go is probably one of life’s hardest decisions, you love someone so much that for a while you are willing to hold on. But, after a while it feels like you are holding onto a flame, every way that you try to hold on you are reminded that there’s nothing to hold on to and the reality burns, eventually you have to ask yourself why you are hurting yourself. Take a look at the scars and ask yourself if this is really worth holding on to after all, if you say yes then be ready to take on everything that comes with that decision more emotionally than mentally. If you say no, then it’s time you thought long and hard why you put yourself in that position in the first place. So as to not repeat the same mistake again, so as to not burn again.
Please don’t think silence means I’m happy, I’m just waiting to see if I matter to you enough for you to notice that I’ve been standing here all along.
Why do we try again and again, why do we constantly let ourselves be broken in the attempt to be accepted and to be part of someone’s life. Only to fill our hearts with pain and disappointment when they don’t return those feelings, then promise ourselves never again. Only to break that promise and think the next one’s the one? time and again we think we can really give our everything to someone who won’t think that our devotion and love is something they can toss into the air and forget about.
I just wonder, at what point will i start feeling numb from all this pain. If not pain, then at what point will i stop having to pick up the pieces and burn for every painful thought within those pieces of my shattered heart?
Sometimes there are those moments when we ask ourselves why we find ourselves hurting time and again, then it follows with why did we not see it coming. How did we miss all the signs and how we should of known better, the truth is. The signs were there all along and the words were all said, we just tend to ignore them because we prefer to hear what we want over what we don’t. The truth sucks, but it hurts so much less in the long run.
When people care more about what they want than what you feel. They are already telling you how little you matter, why spend so much time trying to change their minds when you could be with someone that has never given up on you? it’s where I’d prefer to be.
It’s a strange thing to say but the ones that hurt us the worst, are often the ones that spark that creative side in a writer’s mind. The pain they make us feel give us the drive to write about what we feel, the words they say hurt us but at the same breathe life to the feelings we describe. The memories they give us let’s us tell a story that we then share, life is about what you do with the feelings you have and what you do with the time given, it doesn’t end at heartbreak..
Though time has healed my wounds, love has remained. From love, i remember hope and from hope i recall the memories of the times we spent together. Though my heart bleeds once again when i think of you, deep down in my soul i know you never really left from my mind. Love will always remain no matter how far we drifted, when my love is as real as you have felt.
Sometimes we choose not to hear the warnings of the ones that are closest to us, we think that they don’t know what they are talking about and that they couldn’t possibly understand how we feel. But then it really hits you when you realize they were right all along, you just didn’t want to listen to them because you were too caught up in love to believe them. It’s the mistake i seem to keep making time and again, always listen to your closest friends for they are seeing the larger picture of what’s going on around you while you are enthralled with what’s on front of you..
I wanted to say thanks even to those who have not only broken my heart but at the same time stomped all over it, they say forgiveness is the way to find peace so here goes.
I wanted to say thank you to them for replacing me, otherwise i probably wouldn’t of gone to find someone who wants me. Thank you for showing how little you can think of me because now i know the value of thanking the ones who are always there for me even when i don’t know it sometimes. Thank you for showing me how easily you could move on and forget all that was us, because now i know how much it means to hold on to something so beautiful and never forget. Thank you for showing me how little you can love me, because now i know what it is to really love someone and to know what hurts so i never do it to anyone like you did me. Thank you for showing me your priorities, because now i know something that’s so much more important than wealth or material belongings. Thank you for showing me your true colors so i can avoid those that never show theirs.