The real monsters among us and a prayer

Man who beat stepdaughter to death loses his appeal.

I rarely step away from writing poetry and quotes, It is a passion of mine. But, after reading this article this morning I couldn’t focus on anything else. We often hear on the news about bank robberies and shootings and people losing their lives, It’s the sad reality of the world we live in. But, This is too much. The above article speaks about a step father who assaults his step daughter by beating her to death and prior to the murder he had burned the little girl with a cigarette lighter a number of times. 

The heart wrenching part though, Is despite being in agonizing pain after being burned. The little girl made her way to her mother’s bedroom. Knowing that her step father would be there, to tell her mother that she was in pain by saying ‘boo boo tummy” prior to collapsing on the ground. The little angel clearly braved her way to her mother hoping to find safety and comfort, but in doing so further aggrevated a ruptured vein in her body, that’s when she took her last breath and was pronounced dead at the hospital.

It’s amazing how much our legal system fails us here. I mean seriously, after his actions they still granted this coward a chance at an appeal? He assaulted a child who not only couldn’t fight back but holds no hate and only fear and curiosity. Yet, they granted him what? 5 minutes to make a pathetic defence that he only had grade 9 education and was only 22? sorry but, that’s not an argument. That’s a coward refusing to admit that he’s done something insanely monstrous. Now, I know I probably will sound out of line here but where is the mother in all this? where’s her statement? I pray and pray that the little angel has made her way back to heaven where she’s no longer suffering and true justice will be served upon the monster that took her life. 

 

Tilt shift miniaturization anyone?

I was wondering. If anyone knows anything about tilt shifting miniaturization apps for IPhone? I bought two apps that promised to do the job, but quite frankly? I don’t see the differences! Are there steps or rules to this? thank you kindly in advance!

 

A blunt opinion on some parents (warning: Venting)

 

I am seeing this happen too often, little ones trailing behind their parents. They don’t even look back once to see if their children are behind them. Clearly too self absorbed in their tasks and thoughts to care, what did these people think? that we live in a world so safe we can trust others to not do our children harm? if you ask me I’d say there should at least be a fine for these ignorant idiots. They don’t deserve to be parents, especially when they blatantly show such disregard for their children.

 

Time to get rid of baggage

I’m sick and tired of it, of having to apologize for being myself or for saying what is well within my right.

How often have I consistently excused myself just to be nice and end up getting walked all over? most people haven’t even given me a reason to think that they were worth my caring so much about anyways. If anything most have just enjoyed toying with my feelings, maybe it’s about time to rid of those people from my life.

 

Friday afternoon frustration

Okay, is it too much to ask for a steady good day? it started pretty damn good when I heard that my rat of a coworker was going to get a reprimand cause he insulted the supervisor, on front of a senior business department staff. So yeah, let’s just say supervisor wasn’t too pleased and the ball got rolling, it led from that one incident to a history of them. He’s under probation now, it’s a good thing for other departments because he’s ratted them out too. I hate to have pulled my other coworkers into this, but questions had to be asked by boss.

Anyways, it went well. So, sure enough a few minutes later I got the silent treatment by someone? don’t know why? is it THAT much to ask for a steady decent day where everything goes right?

 

When friends annoy the heck out of you

Sometime ago, i wrote an article on people who are so full of their own relationships that they can’t be bothered to listen to a friend that needed someone to talk to. It was something i saw on the skytrain, i believe i wrote it two weeks ago? anyways. I found myself on the receiving end of that earlier today, i was talking to a friend (yeah i dont hold grudges) about what’s new in my life since we haven’t spoken in forever. She was also telling me her story, somehow it ended up on the subject of relationships, so ok i told her that i was still single and that i was just waiting for the right one. Sounds casual enough right?

Well, it was until she started to suddenly give me advice telling me that it’s perfectly okay to be single and that there was nothing wrong with it etc. So i told her i didn’t have a problem with it, all of a sudden i sensed she wanted to tell me about her relationship. So, fine we talked about it after she threw more statements about how i should be happy to be single and how it’s not the end of the world etc, i stopped her right there and told her that either she get on with her story or it’s the end of this chat. I am normally a patient guy, everyone has something to say and i can appreciate it. But, there comes a time when i simply lose that patience. I mean seriously, don’t assume that just because you are in a relationship and happy that somehow that gives you the right to pity someone who doesn’t and rub it in their faces, she has no idea what i feel or what i am thinking every time i see people show each other affection. Neither does she know how i feel about being where i am now, anyways. I ended the conversation not long after, it’s amazing how full of themselves people can be isn’t it?

 

Mindset of a selfish soul

It’s funny really, how some people remind you how selfish they can be. So long as it serves their purpose they feel they can do anything they want and justify it, yet if we so much as venture in the same direction we are labelled guilty or disliked in an instant.

I don’t think I’ll ever quite understand, the mindset of someone like this. Is there no guilty conscience? or do they think of themselves so often that it doesn’t matter to them anymore? am I the only one that feels this way?

 

Has society really run aground..

Has society run aground so badly, that it feels the need to judge and compare everything around them? what’s the point of this? comparing doesn’t change anything. Staring doesn’t accomplish anything more than waste time, i could rant like everyone else who might feel as fed up as i. But, instead i would rather wonder why people don’t just come up and talk to me instead? there’s got to be an answer to any question they may have on their mind? god gave people lips and voices and the drive to find out more, why not try that instead and feel at peace that they have all the answers they need?

 

Selfishness has no limits

It’s a selfish thing about people that just bugs me, just a few minutes ago I just overheard on the commute to work a guy who was commenting about his breakup with his gf, and his friend (a lady) tells him that it’s alright and that it isn’t the end, then she starts to give examples about how it was before she met her fiancé. I couldn’t help but give her a glance, the hell kind of friend is this?? I thought.

I understand how the guy feels, he just found himself single again and he is going to miss having someone to share everything with, I’m not even talking about just the physical side of things. I’m referring to someone he can go hang out with and share his goals with, his friend does make sense though when she says that a breakup isn’t the end, he can always move on.

What annoyed me? was how casually she went to talking about her relationship, what on earth gave her the right when she has no idea how he’s feeling right now? she’s going to get off work later and hang out with her fiancé and be happy with what she has, he is going to go home and hear all about it later on either Facebook or Twitter. She was going on about it for almost a half hour.

How can she be so damn selfish patting herself on the back when someone is looking for support? I bet she wouldn’t appreciate it if the roles were reversed and he was gloating, some people only think about what they have and rarely what others need..

 

Is it worth trying?

Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth even trying, I voice my opinion and someone is going to take it the wrong way, then if I don’t say anything I come out as not caring or someone thinks I’m feeling too upset about them. Is there a balance to this? or am I just talking to the wrong people? maybe I should just listen to my own advice sometimes and ignore people who have proven they can’t be bothered with me. Seems like the right thing to do

 

When they prefer a lie over the truth

I guess I have to accept it in the end, sometimes I can’t have things in my favor, no matter what I do. Even though I tried to fix the lies people have about me, I tried to make some people understand that I wasn’t as bad as they pictured me to be. But, in the end they believed more lies instead of giving me a chance.

Guess that’s my problem, there’s always one person no matter where I go that wants to make my life utterly miserable. I thought that maybe if they saw my writings they might understand that I’m just as human as the rest, I make the same mistakes and I hurt just as much as the next person. So, why can’t they stop for a second from listening to the unending lies and listen to what I have to say? seems with some people there’s just no changing their minds once it’s made up.

 

I need to think about my needs

Seems that every time I try to think about other people’s feelings I just burn myself. People take advantage of this and I end up the fool, maybe it’s time I started thinking about myself and my needs first, isn’t that what people are trying to remind me every time I’m being left to hang? I know it sounds selfish but I’m just tired of being screwed over, I know it’s a contradiction from my last post. But hey you know?

 

Show them how wrong they are

You can’t change what someone says about you, but you can change how everyone else sees you. If they care, they will see how wrong they have been all along.

 

One lifetime..

People often forget about what they are doing to others, in the process of getting what they want. They hurt others without thought, they use others without thinking about the consequences, then they cry foul when nobody cares enough about them anymore when they need support the most.

When will people realize, that there’s only one lifetime to live and there’s always going to be consequences to their actions. Call it karma, call it anything you like. The result is always the same, if they hurt someone badly chances are life is going to turn the tables and show them how that feels, i guess some people would rather learn the hard way?

 

When trust is misplaced

I think of myself as a lover..a father to a daughter..a friend and a gentleman to my peers and workplace people like colleagues, I treat everyone with the same level of respect as I would want to be treated myself. Ask anyone of the office staff and you’d get the same answer.

But, to get accused of being something I’m not even if by a small group. Without proof? on nothing more than the word of a backstabbing person I once called a friend? that’s too much. I don’t deserve it, why are people so ready to believe someone simply because they known him longer than me? don’t people ever think that they are manipulated? I guess trust doesn’t overcome lies huh?

 

His heart of hate and her gentle heart

A man’s heart is only as strong as that of the one he deeply loves, without her support that comes from within their bond. He makes decisions from his ego instead of his heart where patience and understanding reside. I know, because without her I probably would of made decisions i’d likely regret in the end.

 

When will the violence stop?

When will it stop?! why are people harming innocent babies? it’s through no fault of their own that they are brought to this world.

They arrive in a mother’s womb safely and lovingly only to enter a scary part of their lives, the initial stages they have every reason to cry at night when it’s all dark at night, then through the day they struggle through everything learning and not knowing hate or anger.

Yet, people still harm them like the recent attack in Alberta where a dad slashed his kid! it’s heart breaking to see a child fear so much when children put so much trust in their parents

 

How weak is nature of man

I am seriously not looking forward to Monday, i still can not believe i wasted the time last Friday going down to talk to Ronda at the store only to have her run away from me like i was some sort of psycho. I seriously feel like giving that backstabbing coworker a piece of my mind but my ever supportive shift supervisor asked that i don’t, i’m inclined to take his side for the sake of my daughter however.

Even if she’s not with me in person, i can’t let her think that her father can’t keep the word of his own lessons, i teach her to be patient and forgiving. How can i therefore not be the same myself?  I’d be a hypocrite. Still, there’s a part of me that’s in conflict. How could i have been so blind, to trust and call someone a friend only to be screwed over like i was? it’s amazing how quickly people will turn when they see something they want.

Anyways, i hope that i’ll be able to maintain my composure when that rat walks in that door at work and smiles at me still pretending to be my friend.

 

 

 

When you are left hanging like a rag

Yesterday I wrote a blog about how I wish I knew the signs of when people have decided, that I’m not worth spending the time over and when I no longer matter.

I have been replaced so many times in my life but each time it has hurt me worse, so believe me when I say i know how blind I was in the past few months. Just comes to show, that some people have no thoughts for others so long as they are chasing their own ambitions. These are people who would rather leave you to hang because they are too busy reaping the benefits no matter how much you’d like to be part of their lives, so instead spend more effort on the people who do see that you have so much more to offer had they not been in such a hurry to leave you like a shirt on a clothesline.

 

 

 

Don’t waste your time

Don’t waste your breath on someone who can’t be bothered to so much as notice you, you clearly never crossed their minds and they already decided. That you aren’t worth wasting their precious time over,  I’d rather be forgotten than to be taken pity over.  

 

 

So glad Friday is officially over with

What a stressful day, first a really messed up event at work ran by the most unorganized group in history. They couldn’t make up their minds at all on how they wanted anything set up or even find their own packages. That wasn’t the complicated part though, i drudged through all the radio calls and did what i could. But, what frustrated me the most was trying to be the better person and approached Ronda (read last post re: be careful who you trust) trying to be polite to her, to set things straight. Not only did she not look at me once but not even 5 minutes into a conversation she walked off on me, later on i see that that upstairs of the store she actually laughed about it. I guess this is what i get for being a nice guy, so i thought whatever. I was bitter, yes but what good is that going to do when her mind was made up? later through the day our over sized gorilla muscle head supervisor comes to work and is already barely holding on to his bad mood. This just added to the stress building up inside of me, course later on i realized that i was getting cut hours because a senior coworker is coming back after his vacation. The rat face backstabber, so that’s TWICE he’s screwed me over and i try to maintain my composure still. Later on when i got home, i went out for a 2 mile run to see if i could feel better and i thought i did, but no i’m actually more stressed than when i started. A friend of mine suggested i hold off on the email to the boss till Sunday, i think i’ll take her up on that advice because right now i’m too annoyed. Does it no longer pay off anymore? to do the right things and be the nice guy?

 

Be careful who you trust..

I’ve never been so angry in my life since the court battles, I went to the store to try to redeem myself on front of Ronda for something that isn’t my fault. For those who don’t know the story, Roger a coworker of mine told Ronda out of the blue one day that I was stalking her on the CCTV cameras ( I work contract security for the building ). Even though I never did and has put me in a bad situation where not only do i risk being accused of harassment but caused me to lose my reputation with the employees within the store itself.

Thing is Roger is a 45 year old ‘ish man who had been employed with the building for a few years now and has taken a liking to girls at the store who are in their early 20′s and talks about how he wants to fulfill his fantasies every time he comes back to the office. Anyways, over time he’s taken more effort into being at the store than doing his job at this building. Spending upwards from half hour to an hour and a half knowing there’s no threat of losing the girls to anyone. So, over time Ronda seems to have told one girl about how I’m a stalker etc and that went from one girl to another to another, so! I waited for a chance for Roger to go on his vacation so I could settle things straight with Ronda. But, she seems fixed on the fact that I’m a stalker. So fearful of me that she won’t even look at me in the eye! yet I’m a perfect gentleman to everyone. I show respect to all the employees and been polite to them no matter how anyone does to me. I don’t think there’s anyone in the building outside to the store who doesn’t like me, but I suppose rumors do spread like wildfire so maybe I should make a formal complaint to the boss because the entire store is fearful of me, based on the words of a damn rat faced backstabber who keeps feeding the girls at the store that I’m evil and unstable. Be careful who you trust, people have a tendency to turn on you when they are afraid to lose something they value.

 

Cold as steel

The worst thing people can do, is when they ask you if you’re alright. When they are the ones that knowingly hurt you in the first place, it’s like someone stabbing you straight in the heart. Just to later see if they did it hard enough, what do they expect you to say really? yes it hurt please do it again? sorry, but it blows me away how people can be so cold.

 

It doesn’t cost a thing

It doesn’t cost a thing to say hello, so why do people feel like it will somehow devour all their free time? it doesn’t even cost a thing to care about someone. Yet some people can’t even spare a second to think about how someone feels before they speak, maybe i’m expecting too much or somehow i’m the only person in the world without an alarm clock on my head telling me i have x amount of time to do each thing. I don’t know, maybe i still haven’t lowered expectations enough? just saying.

 

 

When people trust someone they know over someone they don’t.

A few months ago, someone for some reason decided to try to hook me up with someone without my so much as needing it. A series of events occurred to the point that the employees at the store mainly women literally won’t have anything to do with me or so much as a word. Yet he goes there every day still for chats and involves himself in their activities even though he has nothing to do with it. He would often gloat about how he stared at their bodies etc whenever he left the store and returned to the office, yet the guy is old enough to be their grandfather. All the while I am the one who gets shunned after I’ve done nothing that makes me any threat, over time it only got worse when the people at the store wouldn’t even look at me.

It just proves how people would rather trust the word of someone they know, than that of the one who’s done nothing wrong trying to prove himself innocent, well. Such people need not my efforts if they really decided that I’m as evil as I’m being described to be. In the end, the message is clear. Be careful who you trust because you just never know, don’t get me wrong! I hold no bad feelings against the employees within the store. They really are good people, just misled by the one they trust. I just hope karma gets the guy eventually, going to work used to be easy until someone threw me under the proverbial bus!

 

Stop making excuses

People like to say that it’s only human when they make mistakes, to me that’s just a lousy excuse to get away with making the wrong decisions. It was the person who ultimately made the choice by both heart and mind, not some natural reflex or impulsive action. It would be nice if people would swallow their pride and stopped making excuses for once.

 

Expect less from others

Life is full of people you would least expect to be disappointed from, but if you lower your expectations of others and do better for yourself. Then, at least you know you are finally moving on.

 

When life is really unfair

There’s always that moment when you feel helpless to be there for the one you deeply love, it’s not just because you promised you’d always be there either. But, the fact that this is someone who means so much to you and here you are hoping they’ll believe your love to be genuine, all the while you can’t prove it when you’re most needed. Sometimes, life really is insanely unfair..

 

Time to get off that high horse

There are those times when I almost wonder if I unintentionally try too hard to be kind to people, If I apologize out of politeness I get a flat response out of someone. Which in turn just makes me feel worse, yet if I don’t! I appear insensitive and plain ignorant. I believe in karma and all, but sometimes I wish people would get off their proverbial high horse just for a second to see someone is trying to right their wrong, just saying.