A father’s thoughts

Growing up, i was never really close to my dad. He had his ideals that he wanted me to follow and had the old fashioned mentality, that he was the man and so therefore nobody had the right to comment on his decisions. It as always his way or the highway, i on the other hand was more expressive and let life happened as it did. It turned into a lot of long lectures and the like, i don’t think i remember a single moment in my life where i actually spent any good times with him, he’s trying to make up for lost time now that i have a daughter. Basically, giving me ideas of how to raise her but i ignore 98% of it as he has no right, long story.

I wonder if god was listening because, earlier today i saw a father and a young boy sitting across from each other enjoying a picnic at a plaza. The father was passing his son a few pearls of wisdom and the boy watched carefully with a slice of bread in his hand, my dad never gave me such dedication so i was envious of the little young man there. I hope, that i will be able to pass on these thoughts to my daughter. So that she may learn patience and understanding as well, something like this can be applied through all of life.

 

To be a father

The greatest gift of being a father, is the chance to watch my daughter achieve her dreams. Not for gratitude, but so she can teach future generations the lessons I’ve learned today. There truly is no greater feeling than this! (“,)

 

When our children remind us we are doing a great job

On my commute home the other dray, i walked into a train jam packed with people and an obnoxious passenger who had put his bike right in the middle of the walk way. Awkwardly i ignored him and went behind the wheel of his bike much to his disapproval but it didn’t matter to me because the bike was supposed to be on the LAST car, he reeked of alcohol too. He soon returned to his endless rambling.

As i looked to my left i noticed a mother had just napped her baby son in a small stroller, it amazed me that in a train full of people yacking away loudly. Earphones blasting so loud there was no point of hiding what they were listening to, plus a drunken old guy. That this little fellow could sleep so well, it made me wonder what could possibly drain the child so much and can they really block off the noise so easily? the drunkard yelled something out loud nearly interrupting my train of thought. I filtered him out and went back to my train of thought, the little boy reminded me of my daughter when she was around a year old. Her mom could never nap her, i don’t know why. But every time my angel climbed into my arms she’d fall asleep almost immediately, she would sleep soundly no matter the conversation in a living room. Time and again when i knew she was burned out, i’d pick her up into my arms and she’d be so much at peace that she didn’t want to go back down to the floor anytime soon.

I wonder if it’s the feeling of security and love we as parents give, if that’s the case? then i have to say that it goes both ways. It’s an amazing feeling that my daughter feels she can always come to me for comfort, but more so it’s like i’m being reminded i did a good job as a father and the approval of a daughter. Such an incredible feeling, if you’re a parent yourself? you know what i mean (‘,)

 

Faith starts within you

I gave some thought as to what i haven’t tried yet, i learned a number of things within myself and have overcome a lot of my fears. So, the thought of my daughter came and i thought about what lesson i may learn about faith through her.

I then realized that as a toddler she always feared the swimming pool, every time we dressed her up in a cute little swimsuit she always had this look of worry in her face. She would kick all over the place desperately holding on to me because of her fear, but gradually she got over her fear and not long after, she stopped using floaters and started to swim. It was a few short years before she started competing in swimming races with her club, not long later we took her out to do some ice skating. She struggled of course, kept falling time and again and no matter how hard she fell, she always seemed to want to just give up but every time she did. She looked at me and it wasn’t the look of worry that i might be disappointed, but the look of determination.

In time she started taking figure skating lessons once she became better than i could of imagined, of course as a father i am beaming in pride. I’ve wondered what gave her so much drive and determination, i wasn’t there for her during the weekdays to cheer her on when i wish i could.

Then, it struck me and i realized it was the one thing we all forget. Faith, when she was fearful of the swimming pool she had faith that she would one day through her kicking understand what it is like to rid of the floaters. When she went onto the ice at the arena she had faith that she would understand how to skate, faith had in herself gave her the drive to continue. All i did, was let her understand this on her own. If it wasn’t for our faith in ourselves we would never be able to climb the highest mountains or reach our lofty goals, if it wasn’t for faith we would never understand how god must feel when he see us accomplish impossible goals.

 

My week is almost over

Finally, just one more day to go and i will have a great time with my angel. It’s like this every week for me lately, i go through stress over the week at work and go through emotional roller coasters hoping one day will end after another. Then comes the weekend when my angel heals me with her unconditional love for me and i feel that everything i go through during the week is worth it, there’s just something incredible about how much my daughter trusts me to keep her safe and her smile just erases all my worries. Except when she’s all grown up of course, then oh dear hah!