My Wish..My Dream..

She once said only someone special would hear her sing..Yet in my heart she wrote within lyrics of the love we once had..So  beautiful her music..The melodies healed my once cold bitter soul..My only wish..To be remembered once more..My only dream..To hold her in the star lit night sky..

-Andy1076

 

Mixed bag of emotions

It started off really well today, first message i saw on my screen was from minnie (real name not used for privacy reasons) who i have known since i started going on Twitter. She’s always the highlight of the day for me especially since she’s always been there for me, through my worst and most painful moments she’s never given up on me and so i share everything with her, all of my thoughts and emotions along with my feelings. Not once has she ever changed even if being there for me offered her no benefit. I am truly grateful, but since we are on a very different time zone i had to let her go and carry on with my day. Through the day I’ve had lots to think about my life and the one thing that’s absent from my life, a relationship. I am constantly reminded about how everyone seems to be happy with their love life but me, maybe i’m meant to be alone? i don’t know. Even single dads need a partner to spend their life with right? yeah, the day went into a lil bit of a roller coaster from there. It became rather stressful through the day trying to keep my mind off personal issues and focus on work. The later part of the day was alright though i guess, i helped the tour guide with a group of folks who wanted to see the arena which was interesting. There were some folks from europe and some from as close as Victoria, there were a couple of stares here and there at me and a couple of chats which i appreciated because people seem to usually guess that i’m scary! (shrug) i’m rather tall for an asian fellow and have a relatively good build but i’m not intimidating! lol! so yeah, that was fun. I always love meeting new people and getting to know them. Life after all isn’t always about pursuing a relationship or finding people that would benefit us right? it’s about discoveries and pushing the boundaries of our comfort zones. So, i wasn’t shy to have a great chat, the tour guides are really nice ladies who always appreciated any help they can get and have incredibly positive attitudes. So, for a good hour and a half i completely forgotten all about being alone and unseen. But, then when i returned to the office and saw some new twitter posts and a couple of blogs some of the feelings came back again, i guess it’s hard when at one point in my life i was married and happy and it’s not the person i miss anymore. It’s the feeling i get knowing that i found a partner to spend my entire life with, i guess when we once loved someone it’s hard to forget those feelings all over again. Yeah, it was a monster of a ride of emotions, thank you for reading my rambling and visiting my posts!

 

If only i was one of those people

 

I was just walking home from the Skytrain about 15 minutes ago, the path i like to take is through the library as it is faster for me and i get a touch of the air conditioner before heading back out into the heat again. I see a lot of couples kissing and hugging each other along the way, plenty of cuddling going on across the grassy areas. Then along the other side of the benches there’s a semi daycare camp having a great time with a few children who couldn’t be more than 2 years old. It’s a very perfect setting to a summer afternoon, i won’t deny that. There are still times when i wish i was one of those people enjoying a perfect moment with her. To hold her in my arms and share stories and talk about anything, If only i had the chance to know what that is like again..

 

 

Being left alone / dumped

The most painful of all experiences, the feeling like as if you have hit the end of the road. All of a sudden, there’s nothing but silence after all the laughter and all the sweet moments. It becomes a very dark and very lonely cold place, the entire time you are alone it seems that nothing you say or do seems to make a difference. Something happened between you two and hard as you tried to right the wrong it just doesn’t change the situation for the better. At this point, you may as well give time a chance to decide what happens next. Collect your thoughts, then if the relationship is meant to be? the next chapter will be written, if not then it simply wasn’t meant to be.